My Internal Dialog by Salvia

Love and Sex, Sex and Love

Sometimes you are so passionately involved with the person you are with, you are making love.  Sometimes you are in love, but you don’t want to “make love” you just want fuck.  Let’s face it, sometimes you just don’t care…you are just long for the ride.

Let’s say, for a moment, you are in a committed relationship.  This relationship provides you with a sense of emotional security and financial stability.  If you had to rate the relationship, it would be about a 7.5.  Not outstanding, but not by any means bad.  What would really make this relationship amazing, however, is if the sex life was better.  Your physical needs are not exactly being met.

 If you look for what you need outside of the relationship, and your partner finds this acceptable, then you have the best of both worlds.  I know several people who had this arrangement and it worked for them.  They understood that they did not have the ability to meet all their partners’ needs and wasn’t threatened by them looking outside for what they desired – as long as the partner was always honest.  You have the emotional stability you desire and your sexual being is also satisfied. What happens, however; when you don’t tell your partner, that is to say, you “cheat” on your partner?

I would say that most people believe infidelity to be wrong if you are in a committed relationship.  If you go outside your relationship in order to satisfy a desire and your partner does not know, from my point of view, either there is something wrong with the relationship or there is something wrong with you.  I’m not trying to pass judgment on someone who cheats, it’s not may place to do so…  As long as your actions don’t interfere with my life, more power to you. 

So, here you are, in love and you have just gone outside of your committed relationship for sex.   How do you feel?  Do you feel guilt?  Do you feel satisfied?  Do you feel excited?  Do you feel dirty?  Do you want to do it again?

If you are a normal person, you like sex.  It’s fun, it’s a release (in more ways than one), and it can make you can forget about the world but you need to figure out what you want.  Do you want a committed relationship (one person, one love), do you want an open relationship (needs are fulfilled by different people) or do you just want sex?  Regardless of your answer, remember that sometimes sex is just that – sex. 


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  1. * Jane says:

    Very interesting post. I have been wondering about these very things myself lately.

    | Reply Posted 11 years ago
  2. * myinternaldialog says:

    So, as you are going through this introspection period on these topcis, what conclusions has you come to?

    | Reply Posted 11 years ago
  3. * iamgenevieve says:

    I’ve been coming around to the idea that open relationships for people with high sex drives are the best option, after reading Blogs such as Mon Mouth. Personally, I don’t think I could do that. I’d want the “one person, one love” one

    | Reply Posted 11 years ago

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