Who Are You?
I’ve had an eye opening experience, one that has impacted my life more
than I had expected. Actually, one I had not expected. There was an
event that took place that made me question what makes an individual
who they are.
I think, in general, the core personality of an individual is
prevalent at all times but is tempered based on situational events.
For example, some aspects of the personality are appropriate for work
settings but not intimate settings (and vice versa) and, as such, a
person will practice self-restrain in order to not let traits bleed
into the wrong situation.
If a person is a liar they will find it acceptable to lie in all
situations but the severity of the lie (how big the lie is) depends on
the situation. Likewise, if a person steals the magnitude of what they
will take is dependant on their situation.
I’m not saying the all bullies bully all the time or that all liars
lie at every chance that is presented – self restraint is exercised
but the urge is always there. As such, certain things don’t happen by
accident. One doesn’t accidentally steal a loaf of bread or lie about
a situation, any action (or inaction) selected is part of the make-up
of the core personality and the magnitude of said action is based on
the level of self-restraint exercised during any given situation.
So, what happens when a person’s action makes them feel guilty? Is
this an indicator that the individual knows their actions are wrong?
Is this nature’s way of trying to change the trait of the person?
I’m still trying to answer this question myself. Interestingly
enough, I found that when a person feels guilty about an action they
try to blame outside forces – drugs, alcohol, stress, lack of sleep –
instead of owning up to what they have done. Unless you are FORCED,
against your will, you have no excuse other than your choices.
In the end, our actions reflect the very fabric of who we are.
Regardless of the situation, a constant battle is taking place to
temper behavior. If you do something that bothers you, it didn’t take
place by accident – it’s who you are – and you need to reconcile your
actions and your emotions. I’m not saying the core of your
personality cannot change, I believe it can. It’s hard to look inward
and see things you don’t care for but it’s even harder to have to admit
what you are and then take steps to change it. Regardless of
difficulty or pain, if you don’t like what you are find a way to
If you don’t like what you see when you look in the mirror, don’t
blame the mirror.